Leslie Marie Collins

People always say “life is funny sometimes,” but what does it really mean?  I think today is a perfect day that describes that feeling.  Not a particularly good day, but a day nonetheless.  It wasn’t funny, it was unsettling.   Just when I think my life is going in one direction full steam ahead, I am wrong.  Life throws me a curve ball.  Well actually, I threw the curveball and it hit someone in the nuts and now I feel horrible about it.  I would give a million dollars to go back in time and correct the mistakes I made.  But, I can’t do that.  So all I can do is learn from them and hope that I don’t throw any more shitty balls at anyone’s nuts.  I hurt someone’s feelings horribly and no amount of forgiveness will rectify the situation.  It happened and the words I said can’t be erased.  I know that it isn’t easy to forgive, but I am getting better at it.  I’ve had to work on it.  Maybe through laughter, I have gotten better over the years.  Usually 5 days does it.   I wish other people would try to forgive, but I guess I can’t dictate what everyone else does.  I wish I could see that “life is funny sometimes” and maybe in a few weeks, I’ll have some perspective and see that this was all funny.  I like the phrase “time heals everything.” But today, it doesn’t feel that way.  It sucks.  Sorry for my vague and weird blog.  It’s just where I am right now…